Don’t say these if you want to create an environment of psychological safety.
1. “Hey, listen carefully! I don’t like repeating myself” – It’s funny how at the end of a litany, a manager would ask if there’s any question when it was already discouraged in the beginning. It is fine to ask your audience to listen, and then at the same time encourage them to ask as many questions as possible to make sure everyone is on the same page.
2. “Don’t come to me with problems if you don’t offer any solution” – while this encourages initiative and creative thinking, it hinders people from seeking help when needed. The recommendation is to paraphrase this to: “I appreciate recommendations but don’t wait to solve a problem before talking to me if there’s urgency or if you think you need help.”
3. “That’s stupid” – Nothing hinders communication more than a vague putdown from a person in power. When giving feedback, be clear, be specific, and push for continuing the conversation by asking for other options.
4. “We have a problem, here’s my solution… any other suggestions?” In a greatly paternalistic culture, as the Philippines has, a leader’s suggestion is not a suggestion but an instruction. If you really want suggestions, hold off on your own suggestions. Ask for your team’s help and input and hopefully, you end up hearing your own ideas from them. This increases engagement and involvement.
5. “Like I said repeatedly…” Many managers get pissed off when asked questions repeatedly. What they don’t understand is that this is a result of poor communication. Improving the feedback loop from the beginning should minimize this. Yes, the goal is to minimize, and not eliminate.
