Receiving feedback can be challenging, especially when it feels critical or hurtful. However, the way we perceive, and handle feedback greatly affects our personal and professional growth. The key lies in taking feedback objectively and constructively, regardless of the giver’s intention. Remember what Ken Blanchard said. “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” You can’t improve if you are impervious to feedback. In this article, we will explore some practical tips on how to receive feedback without getting hurt and transform it into a valuable tool for self-improvement.
The Power of Objectivity:
The impact of feedback largely depends on the receiver’s mindset. By approaching feedback with objectivity, we can separate our emotions from the message being delivered. Remember, the intention behind feedback may vary, but it is up to us to extract the constructive elements and disregard any negativity or personal biases.
Seek Clarification:
When receiving feedback, it is crucial to seek clarity to fully understand the giver’s perspective. Ask for specific examples or instances to shed light on what is being said. By doing so, you can gain a clearer understanding of the feedback and assess its validity. Requesting additional information also demonstrates your openness and willingness to learn.
Evaluate Actionability:
Not all feedback is created equal. Some feedback may lack specificity or actionable steps for improvement. If you receive feedback that seems vague or unactionable, don’t hesitate to ask for further details or examples. Understanding the desired outcome or behavior can help you navigate the feedback more effectively and take appropriate action. For example, someone might say, your presentation sucks, you might want to ask which part they don’t like or what improvements you can make. You can then turn useless feedback into a useful one.
Fact-Checking:
It is essential to assess the factual basis of the feedback you receive. Sometimes, feedback may be based on misunderstandings, hearsay, or inaccurate information. Take the time to evaluate the accuracy and validity of the feedback before drawing conclusions. This practice will enable you to filter out baseless criticism and focus on areas that genuinely require attention. It may help to ask questions like “What made you say that, or what is your basis?”
Appreciate the nature of communication from the vantage points of the sender and receiver and how you need to be good at both. Check our Assertive Communication Workshop.
Don’t put up a Defensive Front
Sometimes we feel that we need to defend ourselves from unfair criticism. We do need to assert our opinion when we disagree. It is important, however, to recognize that assertiveness includes active and empathic listening, which is hard to do. When we fail to listen, we might react in a way that does not help either party. When people recognize that you are not open to feedback, they will stop giving it, and start talking behind you. That’s not helpful at all. By listening empathically to the person giving you feedback, you should be able to recognize how your action and behavior affected them. Recognize your fault and be willing to apologize, but most importantly, learn from it. This will make you better, and improve your relationship with others.
Separate Words from Intentions:
People differ in their ability to express themselves constructively. Some individuals may struggle to deliver feedback in a sensitive manner, using words that may seem hurtful. Remember, focusing on the actionable content rather than the delivery style or seemingly hurtful words is crucial. Look beyond the surface to uncover the underlying meaning and consider the potential value the feedback holds. It may also help to help them give you better feedback by asking clarificatory questions.
Embrace Imperfect Feedback:
Recognize that not all feedback will be eloquent, comprehensive, or perfectly packaged. Constructive feedback can come from various sources, and sometimes it may not be delivered in the most polished manner. Don’t let the imperfect presentation distract you from the valuable insights within the feedback. Train yourself to extract the useful elements and discard any unnecessary negativity.
Receiving feedback is an integral part of personal and professional growth. By adopting an objective mindset and focusing on constructive aspects, we can transform feedback, regardless of its delivery, into a catalyst for improvement. Remember to seek clarification, evaluate actionability, fact-check, and separate words from intentions. Embrace imperfect feedback and use it as an opportunity to refine your skills and enhance your self-awareness. With these strategies, you can navigate feedback with resilience and harness its potential to fuel your continuous development.
