Receiving bad criticism can be a challenging experience, especially when it’s delivered poorly or feels like a personal attack. However, it’s crucial to remember that criticism, even when poorly expressed, can be a valuable source of personal and professional growth. As Stephen Covey wisely said, “10% is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react.” In this article, we’ll explore how to benefit from receiving bad criticisms by adopting a mindset of humility, seeking clarity, and using criticism as a tool for improvement. We need to learn the art of turning bad criticism into useful feedback
The Challenge of Poorly Delivered Feedback
It’s a common reality that many people are not skilled at providing constructive feedback. Their well-intentioned attempts to help can sometimes result in hurtful or vague comments. When faced with such criticism, our natural instinct is to go on the defensive, which can escalate the situation and make things worse.
However, it’s essential to recognize that we have control over our reactions, even when we can’t control what others say to us. Instead of letting criticism ruin your day, consider turning it into a valuable source of improvement.
The Aikido of Turning Criticism into Feedback
Aikido is a Japanese defensive martial art that redirects and uses the attackers force against themselves. While we do not intend to use the critic’s force against them, we can use a technique to convert the criticism into something useful and productive.
Be Humble and Seek Clarity
When you receive criticism, especially if it feels like an attack, start by being humble enough to seek clarity. Instead of reacting defensively, ask for more information. For instance, if someone tells you that your report is bad or useless, respond by asking questions like, “What makes you say that?” or “Which part of the report don’t you like?” Continue probing and asking questions until you fully understand the other person’s concerns and what specific issues they have with your work.
Ask for Help
Once you’ve gained clarity about the criticism, consider asking for help. If the criticism is valid and points out areas for improvement, seek input on how you can do better next time. Continue asking questions to extract valuable insights from the situation. By doing so, you not only demonstrate your willingness to learn but also transform the criticism into a constructive dialogue for personal growth.
Train Your Critic to Give You Useful Feedback
One powerful technique is to train your critics to provide more helpful feedback. After you’ve acknowledged the validity of their concerns and sought their input, thank them for their specific feedback and any suggestions they’ve offered. Express your appreciation for feedback that helps you improve. Then, kindly invite them to provide more useful feedback and recommendations in the future.
This approach serves two purposes:
- If their intention was to offend you, they’re likely to find it more challenging to continue because it becomes too much work to maintain negativity.
- If their intention was genuinely to help, explaining how you prefer to receive feedback will guide them in providing more productive and valuable input in the future.
Receiving criticism can be a transformative experience when approached with the right mindset. Remember that the way you react to criticism has a significant impact on your personal and professional growth. By adopting Aikido, turning seemingly negative comments into opportunities for improvement, you can benefit from even the harshest criticism. Be humble, seek clarity, ask for help, and train your critics to provide useful feedback, and you’ll find that criticism can be a valuable tool for your journey toward self-improvement and success.
